Wednesday, June 26, 2013

A Pink Slip for Gary

This story is the sequel to Gary's Bile: A Tale of Gallbladder Woes.

Cast of Characters: 

Larry “Workhorse” Liver
Grumpy Sam Stomach
Overeager Gary Gallbladder

            “Beep, beep, beep, beep..…yaaawnn, grumble, grumble…” announced management.  Another day had begun at the factory and the workers filed in like clockwork.  But this was anything but a normal day.

            “Hey Larry, you ready?”

            “Hey there Sam.  I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.  Think he’s figured it out yet?”

            “Not a chance.  Knowing him, he’s still thinking up new songs to liven up the place… More like bore us to death if you ask me.  His songs always turn my stomach.”

            “Aw, I don’t know.  I kinda like them.  I’m really going to miss the little guy Sam.”

            “I’m not.  I’m just thankful he’s leaving.  Can’t wait for this day to be over though!  I never feel quite right when I’m not working on breaking down some food.”

            “Cheer up Sam, at least we’re getting some fluid through the pipelines and… yep, there’s the signal from management to shut down production for a while.  Shouldn’t be long now…” 

            “Hey guys!!  Sorry I’m late.  I really haven’t been feeling great lately.  These stones are really backing me up.  But I thought of a new song!!”

            “Oh spare us Gary…”

            “Don’t mind Sam Gary.  He’s just been cranky this morning because he hasn’t had anything to eat or drink since midnight.  What’s your song?”

            “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that Sam!  Did you tell management?  They’ve listened to me right away every time I’ve had a bout with those stones.  Remember that HIDA scan and ultrasound last month?  Try it Sam, they’ll take care of you too.”

            “No, no, really, that’s ok.  I don’t need them to take care of me like they’re going to take care of you. Plus, management is kind of on a break right now Gary…”

            “Oh, well, you really should try when they get back then!”

            “Well, they’re kinda going to be taking an… extended relaxation break…”

            “Hey Gary, what’s your new song?”  Larry piped in to quickly change the subject. 

            “Oh yeah!  It’s nothing special, just something to keep up the morale around here.  Ok, here it goes....
The food in Sammy stomach goes round and round
Round and round, Round and round
The food in Sammy stomach goes round and round
Then down on through the intestines…"

             “Aw come on Gary, don’t throw my name into it!  Who taught you how to rhyme anyway?”  Sam groaned.

            “I taught myself, pretty good huh?”

            “Of course little buddy, Sam’s just being sensitive is all.  He really doesn’t do well on little fuel.  Why don’t you sing that other one that’s my favorite?”

            “Ok Larry!
This is the bile that never ends,
Yes it goes on and on my friend…”

            “Agh, enough!” Sam exclaimed.  “Besides, I think it’s starting.” 

            “What’s starting?”

            “Yeah, I think you’re right Sam.  The carver should be coming through anytime now.” Sniff, sniff.

            “What carver?  What do you mean guys?”

            “Do you think we’ll feel anything Larry?”

            “Naw, management wouldn’t have let him into the factory unless the mechanic vouched for him.”

“Hey, what’s going on here?  Guys?  What carver?  What…. Hey?! Why is there a metallic snake coming at me with a knife?!?!”

            “It’s ok buddy, just relax and it will all be over soon.”

            “RELAX?!  There’s a maniac with a knife and you tell me to relax?!?!”

            “It’ll all be over soon Gary.  You’re just getting your pink slip…”

“Goodbye Gary!  We’ll miss you!” Larry called out.

“Larry?!  Sam?!  AHHH!!!”  and then there was silence.  It was some time before either Sam or Larry spoke again.

“Well, that’s that I suppose.  Thank goodness we won’t have to put up with his terrible singing anymore.”

“Aw, I kinda miss it.  ‘I’m a great big Liver…”



Medical Morales to Remember:

  • Cholelithiasis – gallstones
  • Cholecystitis – inflammation of the gallbladder
  • Cholecystectomy – removal of gallbladder, generally a laproscopic procedure, usually performed due to symptomatic cholelithiasis and cholecystitis
  • Procedures to identify need for cholecystectomy include: Ultrasound, CatScan or MRI of abd, HIDA scan, ERCP and blood tests

Additional Resources:

Know of another great resource on the topic?  Send us a message or comment below and we’ll look into including it in the resources!

What did you think of the story?  Have you ever taken care of a patient after a cholecystectomy or undergone one yourself?  Tell us about it!

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